Here Comes Trouble
I'm the last person to preach about "acting your age" or "dressing appropriately." I tend to cause a scene where ever I go and Lord knows, I do love to make my entrance. In high school, I remember my mom got me a t-shirt that said: "Here Comes Trouble." No truer words were ever spoken; or so my mother would love to think.
At any rate, I somehow feel entitled to point out the absurdity or the outrageousness of others--particularly their outfits. Yes, admittedly, this is one of my countless flaws. My husband will tell you that I have a big mouth and that sometimes it ought to be shut or it will get me into trouble. Ha! It hasn't yet but I wouldn't bet on that being the case forever.
So today's topic of discussion was born out of my late-afternoon half-caff grande extra hot skim cappuccino run. The vision at the Starbucks counter worked better than any amount of caffeine I could ingest. Image a 5'5 blonde twig teetering in 6 inch dominatrix pleather platforms. Her size double zero behind was carefully spanxed into what looked like my 7-year-old goddaughter's ballet tutu - in black, of course. Her fishnet nylons matched the mini tank top that was poking out from under her black motorcycle jacket. How cute, I thought (insert sarcasm here)--another blonde 20-something bimbo getting started early before her drunken Thursday night spin around the Viagra triangle. Well, did I ever get a surprise. That Madonna-inspired getup was not the uniform of any 20-something but a woman about 60 years old! Her face was recently renovated with all the latest upgrades including a finely finished nose, freshly enhanced lips and a new designer rack to boot!
What was this woman thinking!!!??? Lady please, act your age! Of course, everyone was looking at her like what in the world. She, of course, was drinking up all the attention faster than she will down the ten shots of Patron some octogenarian millionaire will buy her tonight.
Why would anyone dress this way? It's not Halloween and she presumably was not a lady of the streets--though with the economy as it is, who knows....
Getting back to my office and being fresh off the grandma in a mini-skirt nightmare, I had to complete my gossip reading for the day. What do I see? THIS:
GASP! What in the world! Sophia Lauren is 75 years old! Granted, I wish I look this good at her age but Lord have mercy - cover up senora! No one needs to see your chicken legs, your cellulite-free thighs and your pushed up-to-there bosom. We're slightly jealous but more specifically, horrified.
Is this a new trend? I'm terribly disturbed. At 27 years old, I feel like I now not only have to compete with the girls in their early 20s, but now grandmas! How can I even compete with this? Where do I start? Sophia Lauren looks better now that I have ever looked.
Great--it's all going downhill ladies.
As a final note, now with the weather warming up, I guess I'll be seeing more of this boundary-pushing granny fashion.
At any rate, I somehow feel entitled to point out the absurdity or the outrageousness of others--particularly their outfits. Yes, admittedly, this is one of my countless flaws. My husband will tell you that I have a big mouth and that sometimes it ought to be shut or it will get me into trouble. Ha! It hasn't yet but I wouldn't bet on that being the case forever.
So today's topic of discussion was born out of my late-afternoon half-caff grande extra hot skim cappuccino run. The vision at the Starbucks counter worked better than any amount of caffeine I could ingest. Image a 5'5 blonde twig teetering in 6 inch dominatrix pleather platforms. Her size double zero behind was carefully spanxed into what looked like my 7-year-old goddaughter's ballet tutu - in black, of course. Her fishnet nylons matched the mini tank top that was poking out from under her black motorcycle jacket. How cute, I thought (insert sarcasm here)--another blonde 20-something bimbo getting started early before her drunken Thursday night spin around the Viagra triangle. Well, did I ever get a surprise. That Madonna-inspired getup was not the uniform of any 20-something but a woman about 60 years old! Her face was recently renovated with all the latest upgrades including a finely finished nose, freshly enhanced lips and a new designer rack to boot!
What was this woman thinking!!!??? Lady please, act your age! Of course, everyone was looking at her like what in the world. She, of course, was drinking up all the attention faster than she will down the ten shots of Patron some octogenarian millionaire will buy her tonight.
Why would anyone dress this way? It's not Halloween and she presumably was not a lady of the streets--though with the economy as it is, who knows....
Getting back to my office and being fresh off the grandma in a mini-skirt nightmare, I had to complete my gossip reading for the day. What do I see? THIS:
GASP! What in the world! Sophia Lauren is 75 years old! Granted, I wish I look this good at her age but Lord have mercy - cover up senora! No one needs to see your chicken legs, your cellulite-free thighs and your pushed up-to-there bosom. We're slightly jealous but more specifically, horrified.
Is this a new trend? I'm terribly disturbed. At 27 years old, I feel like I now not only have to compete with the girls in their early 20s, but now grandmas! How can I even compete with this? Where do I start? Sophia Lauren looks better now that I have ever looked.
Great--it's all going downhill ladies.
As a final note, now with the weather warming up, I guess I'll be seeing more of this boundary-pushing granny fashion.
Posted by Socialista at 3/11/2010 2:31 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Starbucks Sophia Lauren grandma
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Starbucks Sophia Lauren grandma
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