Full Moon Madness

This morning one of my friends warned me: it's a full moon--look out. I took her words with a grain of salt; until they began to resound loudly like a gong in my head. People were and are certainly acting very strange and it has been quite an eventful, heated day--to say the least.

Apparently, I'm not the only one who is having such a celestially-influenced day.

Senator Levin dropped the s-bomb eleven times while questioning a Goldman Sachs exec. C-Span now needs its own 10-second delay.

A 66-year old woman in Kennewick, Washington was arrested today for shooting a gun into the air in order to break up a party in her neighbor's back yard. Believe me, I KNOW what she must have felt like. The woman told police that though she was thoroughly upset about the party, she only smacked a frying pan on a wooden fence. Too bad the police found a loaded .32 caliber in her kitchen cupboard next to the baked beans. I added that last part about the beans for effect.

Burglars in Medford, Oregon apparently really wanted to watch some t.v. They stole a big-screened television but then dropped and shattered it on the sidewalk just outside of the store. Instead of fleeing the scene like normal, somewhat smarter burglars would have done, they went back inside the store and stole a smaller one--making sure that they could carry this one without any fuse. I'm sure the security cameras got a better look at these Einsteins the second time around.

This one makes me laugh. Apparently, a man in Lincoln, Nebraska (who even knows where that is?!) decided that he would rob a convenience store. His mask: toilet paper! Yes, he wrapped his head with toilet paper to disguise himself and then escaped on foot with the money he stole from the safe. I wonder if he used the toilet paper later....

Did you know if you've had your penis enlarged you can't work as a police officer? Whew, aren't you glad you never went through with that dare? Just kidding. Apparently, applicants to the Papua police force will be asked whether their "vital organs" have been enlarged. It's been asserted that unnatural sizes tend to cause "hindrance during training." Hindrance, hmm, you don't say. Not the word I would have used but ok. On a final note, I bet you didn't know that the enlargement process is a do-it-yourself technique. Men reportedly wrap their walking stick with leaves from a "gatal-gatal" (itchy) tree so that it swells up "like it has been stung by a bee." Nice visual, isn't it?

Today in Philadelphia, in an effort to curb counterfeiting, a steamroller crushed more than 7,000 fake Rolex watches. The destruction was staged in an effort to send a message. In case you wanted to know, the watches were seized from a one Binh Cam Tran who pled guilty last year to trafficking in counterfeit goods. Tran is now serving six years in federal prison and has to pay $2.2 million to the Rolex Co. For a town almost broke, I love how they decided that smashing up and destroying property was cost-effective. I'm sure the watches could have been put to good use if the "Rolex" name was only removed from it--of course, that solution would have been too smart.

And, last but not least, Jillian Michaels, the fitness diva has her foot in her mouth. I wonder how it tastes? When asked if she would ever have a child, she replied that: "I'm going to adopt. I can't handle doing that to my body. Also, when you rescue something, it's like rescuing a part of yourself." Not only does she alienate almost all mothers, but she hauntingly refers to children as a "something." Ouch, I bet her pr rep will be billing over-time.

 

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