Isn’t it amazing what some people will wait around in line for? As a small child and well into my teen years, I can remember lining up in front of certain stores to get beanie babies. I thought those little stuffed bags of beans would be a money train. In about two years, I amassed something to the tune of five thousand stupid stuffed bags. Sure they’re cute and sure I probably made a couple of thousand dollars selling them but guess what, they’re worth pennies now! They just sit in plastic tubs hanging around. My husband once told me I should display them in a glass cabinet “or something.” Yeah, that “or something” is right. I would rather permanently erase them from my memory because they just make me mad. It was a neurosis—pure madness. Not only did I stand in line for hours to have a chance to buy the newest ones and fight with people over these toys, I even bought books on these addictive monsters and how much they’d be worth in two, three, even ten years. What’s more, I’d buy stupid little plastic hang tag protectors and over-priced, China-made-probably-for-two-pennies display boxes. All that money—wasted. I guess every teen has their little money pits. I have a bunch of beans in mine. One day I think that if I ever have a child, it’ll be swimming in beanie baby heaven its entire childhood—that will be my “or something.”

Last month people stood, sat, laid and slept in line for days to get phones. The i-phone craze was pure, unadulterated madness. The line around the Apple Store on Michigan Avenue was outrageous—it literally snaked around two blocks. You’d think that pope was in the store with the throngs of people just hypnotized and crazed to get in and to get a handle on one of these over-priced little gizmos. Admittedly, I want one and am on a list to get my grubby paws on it but I draw the line at repeating the beanie baby craziness. Of course, this doesn’t apply to my waiting in line at 4am on the morning after Thanksgiving to get some great door-busting deals. I’m inconsistent like that—I guess.

This morning, there were people lined up around the federal court—not to get some material fix, instead, to get a coveted ticket into the Blago courtroom circus. In fact, some people arrived at 5 a.m. to try to get inside. What lunacy! Really, is seeing a disgraced governor on the witness stand that stimulating? I hate to break it to you people, trials are never as exciting or fun or anything even remotely close to what they appear as on shows like Boston Legal or Law and Order. Most of the time they’re just plan boring vanilla with maybe a speck or two of vanilla bean for added crunch. Nothing more. Then, afterward, everyone feels some sort of guilt for eating it.

So the next time you are ruminating over standing in line for something, really ask yourself: is it worth it and will I look like a total nut doing it?