Excuses. They’re charming little things, no? They’re used several times a day for many, many reasons but mainly, to explain some sort of shortcoming or just plain idiotic behavior on our part. Take for example my red hair. It’s often cited as an excuse for being a bitch or for being snarky or just downright nasty.  But come on—I am fully aware that it has nothing to do with my hair color; instead, it’s the position of the moon during the month or the change in seasons or someone giving me sass on the phone or the tightness of my pants restricting blood-flow to my brain, or—well, anything else really. See, there I go again. Excuses seem to pop up all the time.

Some excuses just shouldn’t fly, though. In fact, when it comes to excuses in a professional setting, they should be downright banned. No one should be able to excuse their way out of improper, unprofessional and potentially illegal behavior. You can probably guess right now that I don’t believe in the insanity or the heat of passion defenses. Fess up, say you got mad and acted like a complete nut and face the consequences. In my book, that’s worth more than wasting time and money to mount the Sisyphean defense of insanity because, if you were really nuts, you’d have been institutionalized a long time ago.  

An excuse, after all, is some times nothing more than a lie. Case in point:  the Wisconsin prosecutor scandal. By now you’ve probably heard about this buffoon. Instead of doing his job and prosecuting real crimes, Ken Kratz decided to use his office to promote his own personal booty-call mission. For all intents and purposes, Kratz is a freak; a married sex-crazed, numb-nut who not only put the conquests of his male member before the promotion of justice, but who has also brought more shame onto the legal profession—something it doesn’t need. Kratz fully admits to sending sexually charged and erotic messages, 30 of them total in three days, to a woman while he was prosecuting her ex-boyfriend for beating the life out of her. The victim, a young woman and now a domestic abuse survivor, received sexts from Kratz, asking her whether she  "the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA," and that she was a "tall, young, hot nymph." Puke. I just threw up a little in my mouth.

In addition to harassing this poor woman, new allegations have come to light that this may be a pattern of behavior for Kratz. In fact, he’s alleged to have sought a relationship with a woman earlier this year in which he had told her she could attend an autopsy with him if she pretended to be his girlfriend and wore a “short skirt and heels.” Yep, that's proper attire for an autopsy. And, by the way, I'm sure the offer to attend same was so irresistibly arousing that she zipped up her mini and immediately walked her 4-inch heels down to the local coroner's office for a good time. What an idiot??!!

Despite this egregious behavior, Kratz refuses to step down. Instead, he cites some “personal issues” as his excuse and promises to get therapy. He’s now on “medical leave.”

This cheesehead should be forcibly removed from office and should be prosecuted for misconduct, abuse of office, intentional infliction of emotional distress, harassment and Lord knows what else. He shouldn’t be able to merely cite some “sickness” as his excuse and to continue working as the county prosecutor. Further, the state of Wisconsin can’t just sit idly by as he is permitted to retain his office. Who will take this man seriously in a trial? Can anyone even trust anything that comes out of his mouth? What else has he done that will only later come to light?

Kratz, now 50, isn’t up for re-election until November 2012. Despite his excuses of illness for his piggish behavior, he’s lawyered up. As his newest legal excuse, Kratz’s attorney Robert J. Craanen posits that Kratz has been a successful prosecutor for 25 years and that other district attorneys have committed more serious misconduct related to withholding evidence and kept their jobs. Yep, good idea—keep pointing the finger at someone else.

You’re a freak, Kratz, and not worthy of the office you hold. Resign for the sake of your wife and kids at least because you’ve done enough harm to them, if not to the office you hold.