I’ve about had it with this whole Rahm Emanuel running, not running, thinking about running bologna that’s been riddling the news for the last couple of weeks. First of all, my interest into who replaces Mayor Daley is about on par with my interest in eating monkey brains. Ok, ok—a little extreme, but you get my point. Regardless of who sits at the helm of the City, the City will still be teaming with corruption, bureaucracy, red tape, bribes and other unpalatable attributes that can only be assigned to Chicago.  It will take an army to change the politics of this City and this change will not happen willingly or overnight.

Having this mindset in place, it’s become extra-irritating to hear about this elfish, demonic looking little man, Rahm, and his master plan to run the Chicago roost.  If Rahm really, truly loved Chicago enough to want to be mayor of the City, he’d have never left. Further, he would have never removed his residency from the state (and city) and he would not have rented out his Chicago home in September of 2009. For all intents and purposes, Rahm was ready to part ways in Chicago when he brown-nosed his way alongside Obama into Washington. He was gone on the first plane out after the election was over. The bottom line: Rahm never loved Chicago so much that he wouldn’t leave it and his actions after leaving the city all indicate that he wasn’t coming back. In fact, given his deliberate actions, as I see it, Rahm can’t even run for office because he doesn’t meet the residency requirement.  Once someone rents out their primary home to another and he no longer lives in the state, he can’t claim that he is a resident of that state vis-à-vis that home. The residency goes out the window with the lease signature. Being a resident of Chicago is one of those unfortunately un-waivable requirements of being mayor. Imagine that! 

So, this is where my thought process tends to get darker and deeper. It’s no secret that I simply don’t trust what comes out of people’s mouths without independent verification. With that mindset, I think there’s something more sinister in Rahm’s charades. In fact, I have a conspiracy theory and though it might be wrong, I still tend to believe some part of it's true. So here goes nothing: Obama’s ratings are tanking. People are getting irritated, upset and are losing faith in him. His coveted and well-respected advisors and coterie of higher-ups are resigning. The nation is looking more and more askance at these resignations and really starting to rethink their “change” votes. Rahm’s not that stupid. He doesn’t want to stick around on a sinking ship. He wants to bail but he not only wants a life-preserver when he does, he wants a wave-runner waiting for him when he jumps overboard. Well, this Chicago mayoral “chance” was just his thing. It’s Rahm’s wave-runner.  He pontificated once, a long time ago and without much seriousness to his statement, that he might consider it if Daley was out. That statement, a flippant one at best, was his golden ticket. Daley, for whatever reason, is stepping down and ah, the light bulb goes off in Rahm’s head, he sees his getaway! He starts mulling and thinking and whispering loudly and actually stirs up enough interest in himself that he manages to convince everyone around him and in Chicago that he’s serious and wants to run. What a load of crap and how beautifully executed. Not only was it breaking news on CNN that he’s resigning tomorrow, but everyone in Chicago is ready to throw money and fake admiration in his face because they think he “might” have a chance at running the City.

This whirling dervish politico, Rahm, has and will continue to fool us all. Maybe we should just wake up a bit early from this hypnosis. Just wake up. Wake up Chicago—there’s other possible candidates who are far more qualified, who love and live in the City and who know what it takes to run this town. Rahm’s show is almost over; let’s just turn it off and stop wasting our time.