Sometimes I really feel like a beached whale. This is especially highlighted when I take my core fusion classes. The average size of my classmates is about a 2. Clearly, I'm one of the larger girls coming in at a hefty 10. Now, obviously, I'm trying to wither down that sizeable frame or else I wouldn't be sweating my ass off and grunting like a pig in heat for an hour almost daily. But, is it awful that when I leave the class and see some hoola-hoop wasted woman walking down the street I feel so much better about myself? It's terrible, I know. But you know what, it's human nature--isn't it? That is, after all, why we can think this way and be monsters to each other, right?

And so feeling guilty about the above-referenced hoola-hoop, I cannot help to think that we people are just awful to each other. Lord knows I've experienced this first hand. In grade school I was the nerdy, awkward, foreign, fat kid who had to eat lunch in the bathroom to avoid an empty table and the jeers from the now completely useless ordinary classmates who made me want to be six feet under almost on a daily basis. That's that human nature, I guess. It's the mentality that we have to put others down to make ourselves feel better. And really, in retrospect, I was but an innocuous plump kid who would have loved a friend. Except for the time that this one little red-headed, freckled face demon boy decided to ruin my bean plants from my science fair project. He thought it was so funny to just destroy those highly drugged and fertilized beans. It was at this point that I stooped down to his level and just plain snapped. I beat the crap out of the little punk and shoved dirt in his mouth and down his pants. Though I got into some super trouble at school, my mother took my side and what's more,  he never bothered me again. That was my human nature kicking in--fight or flight, right?

Turn on the news at any point during the day and you'll easily see the terrible way people relate to each other. During the last three weeks leading up to the mid-term elections there wasn't a decent, respectful word said about anyone in the race. If words could kill, scarcely anyone in Washington would be alive. Aside from that nastiness, there's websites like TheSuperficial.com and TheDirty.com just overflowing with unspeakable comments about celebrities and regular 'ole folks, comments that could easily give rise to cognizable and profitable defamation claims, at the least. We all flock to read this smut and laugh at it and support it. Only when it hits close to home do we get all riled up and take up arms to get the terrible postings off the internet. Seriously, why do we do this to each other?

The answer to the above is obviously too complex to try to massage out here. In my little world, the next time I start to think terrible things - like "not the smartest crayon in the box" --maybe I should excuse myself for the garbage that's about to spew out of my mouth and just try to bite my tongue? Somehow, I think I'd wind up without said tongue in less than a day. Terrible, I know!