I really don't know how else to say it to some people, but for the love of God -- can you please stop taking self-pictures of yourself and posting them all over Facebook? I know it's called Face-book, but can you have someone else take a photo of your ugly mug rather than jamming that camera lens up your nose, trying to show us how "cute" you can look. No one cares. Really. And, certainly, no one will be wanting to date you because of your 1001th photo of your face. They'll maybe think you're nothing more than a narcissistic floozy, but that's not a title one should aspire to obtain! The same goes to those fools who blow kisses into the camera or stand in the bathroom, over the sink, posing. Stop it! You look like a fool when you do  that!

            And further, stop making yourself look like a drag queen or like you're going to a gay club at lunch. Lay off the inch-thick eye liner and the Mac-forcefield eyeshadow and the cadaver pale lip gloss. Please. It's ridiculous. You look like a buffoon.  

            While I'm at it, the same goes for the umpteenth picture of your kids. Ya'll know who you are! You mothers who have nothing better to do but to barrage Facebook with DAILY updates of your kids. How many photos and status updates can we look at? It's not like your little rugrats exhibit any marked changes over night. Can we please limit it to say 3 photos or updates of your kids a week? We are, after all, friends with YOU and not your kids. Did ya'll forget to read that memo?

            Look, I'm not innocent. We all know I have a Facebook addiction. I update my status, including admissions of my shopping problem several times a week. I also post photos of my animals and my husband and my friends, a lot. Oh, and news tidbits and morsels of craptastic gossip I find. It's sort of my hobby and yes, I deserve to be reigned in--duly noted. But, in my defense, whatever I do pales in comparison with the intensity and consistency of some of you Facers out there. It's crazy. Just plain stop it!

            And the same goes for the stupid quizzes and games people play on the site. Stop updating your page with your score or your latest self-discovery, like how some quiz just told you that you're simply a racing horse in the sack. For the love of God, get a grip! Have you nothing better to do than to sit at your computer and do this sort of mindless crap? Who has time for this anyway? Really?

            I was just pontificating this morning about how some people can write on Facebook that they're bored and have nothing to do. What in the world? If you're out of high school, you have absolutely no excuse to be bored. You can't entertain yourself? Get a  hobby or read a book or go underwater basket weave or plan a trip to de-worm orphans in Africa. Please. Do something. Anything. Just don't profess to the world that you're nothing more than a torpid fool--besides, your would-be employer might read this and pass your slothy ass right up!